Be Present Yoga Pants Biography
source (google.com.pk)I’ve got three boys ages 5, 3 and 9 months young. They’re all perfectly spaced by 2 years and 5 months. People say I have a team. Oh yeah, I love my wife. She’s on the team too! She finances our team and she organizes our space. She spends time with us and showers us with love.
But that’s not what these guys mean when they say team. Guys at the convenience store, delivery guys, it could be any male stranger really. They’re talking about a literal sports team in some imaginary world where popular athletics are practiced in groups of three. What sport could they possibly mean? This question has prompted my examination of how family dynamics are playing out in today’s landscape of involved fathers.
Why do I even care? My plate is at capacity. I’m trying to get my first full time job before I turn 35 – unless you consider at-home fathering a full time job. Do you? What are we expected to do anyway? My wife thinks I’m fairly incompetent when it comes to certain matters, my new babysitter shakes her head because she thinks men don’t realize how critical it is to refrigerate milk bottles, and grannies on the street chide me when I can’t keep my baby from pulling off his socks. After asking my wife about why she gets so frustrated she somewhat seriously told me, “Men have oppressed women forever and when we see how inept you are, it only adds to our frustration!”
“But as our roles change, what exactly is the give and take?”
You could say I’m sensitive to the modern “I can have it all” woman. I’m proud to be included in a generation of successful career women with children. I also appreciate the flexibility this offers the family unit, influencing the rising trend of stay-at-home dads. But as our roles change, what exactly is the give and take? I’m still expected to lift heavy boxes and assemble the IKEA kits. I also experience the stress of the homemaker by weathering temper tantrums and defying judging eyes at the playground. Sleep deprivation, frequent illness, and back pain are a few more symptoms of the full time parent. It begs the question, what’s it all for and how are we compensated?
dinnerparty-2 (1)Being a stay at home dad carries certain diplomatic responsibilities. The few friendships I have maintained involve sharing my insights as the homemaker with my frustrated comrades. Not long ago we visited some close friends who have moved upstate. They have a daughter who just turned toddler. At dinner, her dad and my wife talk about the hustle of business, side projects, and time management.
I talk about playdates, storytime, and nap scheduling strategies with the stay-at-home mom. Then we shift and the moms discuss food trends and yoga while the dads talk about bicycles and the current trend for women to wear form fitting yoga pants all over town. It serves as a nicely fluid dinner conversation between interruptions from any of the four children who are at varying degrees of being asleep.
After dinner we leave the women at home and head to town. My friend tells me why he values my insights; I illuminate his wife’s position from a male perspective. This is not trivial since male oppression of women is an ever present factor when we interact with our partners. My wife’s frustration with man’s ineptitude is a barrier that doesn’t come between men. I can advocate the self-worth complexes that go with being the dependent homemaker sans the implications of sexism. Some examples being, what is my value in this partnership as a non or lesser income earner? What sacrifices am I making for the benefit of our family? What is my identity outside the realm of the household?
Examples of feelings and reactions to these questions are denial, depression, empowerment, validation, etc. These emotions are certainly related to gender roles and identity, but my experiences aren’t threatening to my male friend because I don’t carry the trump card of sexual oppression. The contemporary man is ever on guard against the inherent wrongness of his behavior. I’m sure this is only compounded by interracial behavior, a likewise dynamic topic. Most marriage partnerships have untapped potential, especially if we get beyond a ‘battle of the sexes’ mentality.
“The role reversal flip flop my wife and I are navigating is a journey I underestimated. I not only underestimated the difficulties, I didn’t expect how enlightening the situation would become.”
The role reversal flip-flop my wife and I are navigating is a journey I underestimated. I not only underestimated the difficulties, I didn’t expect how enlightening the situation would become. My expectations for our relationship aren’t what they were and change with experience. This phenomenon reminds me of a trip we took after graduating from high school.
My wife and I were high school sweethearts about to go to different colleges. That summer we went backpacking in the mountains outside Santa Fe. On the penultimate day of trekking, we had lost the trail and decided to bushwhack through a valley to recover our route. Finding the lake we were aiming for wasn’t a problem. When we located our only trail back, we discovered a barricade. The path was unmaintained with an unexpected steep climb and no other means for safe passage than our own teamwork. We made it and learned you don’t always know the ways your relationship will be tested ahead of time.
With this in mind I can’t say if and when equality of the sexes will come to pass. I can say our world is dynamic. It’s important to challenge ourselves, our partners, our relationships and to resist complacency. I have my ups and downs as a stay-at-home dad, but my rewards come from overcoming personal challenges which the men in my family have never faced. I’m not one of those positive, cheerleader stay-at-home dads. I’m often grumpy, tired, and feeling sorry for myself because who wants to be comfortable? Luckily my personal comfort is often unexpectedly challenged. For example, the other day I was pushing my stroller and a man jogged by wearing yoga pants. As I glimpsed the contours of his buttocks, I realized men are pushing boundaries too.
“The unknown is the reward. Though it can be overwhelmingly vast at times, it has infinite potential.”
It’s hard to be a man out there on the sidewalks when our frontier is feminine territory! However the balance isn’t simply a territorial struggle. Maybe the give and take of sharing it all with someone is measured by possibility, an unquantifiable reward that benefits the partnership. The unknown is the reward. Though it can be overwhelmingly vast at times, it has infinite potential. Please remember, I never said I know the game or the rules. I just know I have a team and I’m pretty sure we’ve got the ball.
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
Be Present Yoga Pants
Crispy Chicken Recipe Sandwich Wings Costoletta Salad Burger Chinese Crispers Chili's Strips Photos
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